Retirement
by ManiacalMonocle
Summary: Joker is in his late 80's and his heart is failing. EDI struggles to deal with Jeff's mortality and Jeff says his last goodbyes. What will EDI do when Joker passes? What purpose will life hold for her and can an AI make it to heaven?


EDI sat staring out the rain soaked window. Rain was coming down in sheets. Shuttles and all sorts of spacecraft were departing from the nearby hangars. Joker had chosen this hospital for the express purpose of the ships flying overhead.

EDI watched an Elkoss Star 3 shuttle take off and disappear into the clouds. It reminded her of the retirement ceremony for the Normandy SR2. It was so many years ago but she remembered it perfectly. Being an AI certainly helped.

It was a rainy, windy day in Vancouver. All the surviving crew had been there. They came to pay their last respects to a ship that had been their home and their protector. They came mostly to relive their youth. EDI went to say goodbye to her old body.

The Normandy had been both her home and her body for many years but as time passed EDI moved her processors off the ship and into Jeff and hers home.

They had lived together on countless ships with her and Jeff flying anywhere they liked whenever they felt like it. But eventually they had to stop road tripping across the galaxy. Jeff's heart had grown more fragile than his bones. Modern medicine was not infallible and they decided to settle down.

They had settled on Tiptree, in the main city, close to the spaceport. EDI had finally minimized her hardware enough to fit entirely inside her humanoid chassis just a few months ago.

She missed being the Normandy, but Joker made anywhere feel like home. She lusted for open space and flying just as much as he did.

A large, Asari-made cargo ship came in for landing, hitting the stabilizers a little hard and buzzing the hospital. The sound shook the window and woke Joker in the hospital bed next to EDI.

"Asari made, came through atmosphere too quick, over corrected stabilizers," he mumbled with his eyes still closed

"How did you know it was an Asari craft?" EDI asked.

"Asari make that mistake a lot," he responded. "Always in a rush to get on the ground." Joker turned and locked eyes with EDI. "Me, I could live in a ship."

EDI processed a smile for Jeff. It was a familiar smirk that spoke of quiet laughter. They had each adopted a similar smile over time when they joked with each other. "What kind of ship would you live in?" she teased.

"Oh you know, a classic," he answered. "A military model, somewhere between a cruiser and a frigate, maybe an experimental."

EDI's smile widened as he played coy.

"Something like the Normandy," Joker beamed at her. "Yeah, the Normandy, SR1. Now that's a ship. Better than that clunky SR2"

EDI's smile evaporated. Her facial expression said to tread lightly.

Joker met her stern gaze and held it for a few seconds before chuckling to himself.

EDI smiled at him, happy that poor in health did not mean poor in spirits.

Joker's laughing stopped abruptly as he clutched his chest. EDI snapped into nurse mode and was there holding his hand in an instant. The heart monitor shone irregular palpitations and was buzzing for a doctor.

It took the doctor 26.7 seconds to arrive, slower than EDI could have applied chest compressions and then moved to the defibrillator. In less than that time she could have fixed the problem and got his heart beating regularly again. Instead, she sat holding Joker's hand while the doctor yelled clear.

She had been told multiple times not to do the doctor's job for him. He had scolded EDI several times for using the defibrillator on Joker without supervision. He was clearly upset over the presence of a synthetic in his hospital. It had taken a total of 2 minutes and 58 seconds to restart his heart. It was taking longer and longer now.

20 minutes later Joker was comfortable enough to be talking again. "I won't survive another," he said, unable to meet EDI's eye. His joking mood had evaporated.

"You don't know that, Jeff," EDI responded.

"You do," he replied. "My body rejected the transplants and the synthetic hearts. The palpitations are almost every day now." His face hardened. "Next time it won't start back up again."

EDI hung her head. She found herself wanting to cry, but lacking the hardware.

"I saw something this time," he said to break the silence. "I saw the Normandy, both of them." EDI lifted her head to see Jeff staring back. "All the old crew were there. Thane, Mordin. Everyone we lost."

EDI was now furious that she lacked tear ducts.

"It was nice, like everyone, everything was whole. I think I'm gonna like it there."

EDI reached for Jeff's hand. "Don't go," she said, clenching his hand. "I need a pilot," she pleaded, barely managing a smile.

Jeff squeezed her hand back. "I'll see you there, okay."

EDI nodded silently.

Joker's eyes started to water. "Just so you know, I always preferred the SR2."

EDI smiled and they held each other for what seemed like hours. Jeff laid back down and EDI returned her gaze to the window. She would announce each vessel as they came in and he would mark their design flaws, always referring back to the Normandy's superiority. They did this for hours until Joker spoke up.

"Would you mind getting ice for me?"

"I'll call the nurse."

"Don't bother him, it's late."

EDI sensed a scheme but relented and went to acquire a cup of ice.

When she had left, Joker fumbled with the heart monitor, turning its volume to mute. She returned just in time to miss the alteration and smiled as she handed him the cup.

Jeff chewed absent mindedly for a few minutes and then yawned loudly. "I'm going to call it a night. Keep watching the skies for me."

EDI mock saluted and replied, "Yes sir." She smiled as she did it, ruining the whole illusion.

Jeff laughed and returned her salute. "Goodnight EDI."

"Goodnight Jeff."


End file.
